Feedback Is Your Friend

Have you ever sent something out (email, invite or letter) only to find out there was a major error or even a minuscule mistake that eluded your “proofing eyes”?  Recently I had such an experience. My husband Paul (who is conveniently a designer and brand manager) created an invite for a leadership event I was hosting-He looked it over, and I looked it over and we were both satisfied that it was ready to be sent out. We emailed to a few choice individuals first and then two days later were horrified to hear that we had misspelled (of all words) the word LEADERSHP (“Hi-we’re going to teach you about leadership-we can’t spell it but….”) How could we miss that? Well, we simply did not SEE it. Our eyes looked over the word LEADERSHP and filled in what was missing, we simply could not see what was right before our eyes.

It took someone who wasn’t familiar with us or the event to be the most effective “proofer” because they weren’t looking for what “should be there” they were just noticing what wasn’t.

There is greater effectiveness that awaits us as leaders when we apply this principle to our lives.  We can often “proof” our life- in our business or family life and our eyes will fill in what is missing, we will see what we expect to see because we are looking at our life through an unquestioned set of assumptions that things are the way we believe they are.

We break out of this into a new dimension when we invite people to “proof” our life-examine us and point out to us blind spots (things others around us see-but we don’t, or are unwilling to acknowledge) the invitation is for them to give us feedback on what they notice about us.

Feedback is our friend, if we are willing to receive it –it can serve us in accomplishing the things we say we are committed to.  As an example:  if I say I am committed to bring out the best in my staff and I get feedback from them that they find me overly critical, this is helpful to me because it feeds back to me data about how I show up with them that I may not be aware of. I now have the opportunity to “edit myself” when I am with them to be the leader that truly brings out the best in my staff!  In order to have this opportunity we of course have to be willing to invite the feedback in; and this kind of “life proofing” is not for the faint of heart- you will hear things you don’t like.

When I examined my life in this context I thought “I’m not really getting feedback from people, so they must not have anything to share with me- So not the case! You have to ask for it and here’s the kicker, if no direct feedback comes your way through people –that is feedback! That is telling you something; somewhere along the line you sent the message to everyone around you-I don’t want to hear what you think-and so you are getting what you put out there. And unless you are willing to look at the things that need some proofing you will keep getting nothing. If you have already decided how you are, you will never be open to the feedback that you may be showing up with people in a way that you don’t see yourself, yet that is their experience.

It has been said if you want an honest assessment of yourself then ask your enemy-they will give it to you straight up; that might be a bigger leap than we’re ready to take so let’s start with those around us, and those with a fresh set of eyes who don’t look at life through the same lens that we do- it will open up a huge opportunity to transform our LEADERSHIP (finally-it’s spelt right!)

James 4:6, Prov 18:12,

What are your thoughts? We’d love your feedback!