3 Things that will make you Mr. Lonely …

1. Self destruct to protect yourself

Over the years I have come along side to support tons of teens and young adults who deeply desire relationships, yet they do not actively pursue them. It’s like they are wearing a sign on their chest that reads “ignore me, I dare you”. Because of this self-destructive belief about themselves, they constantly look for evidence to support what they already think. Then, they say things like, “See, I knew nobody would say hi to me” or “I knew that if I went, I wouldn’t connect with anyone“. So how is it that these self-fulfilling prophecies are so powerful? Because we are always looking to see what we expect to see. We are afraid of getting hurt by others, so we hurt ourselves first. It never ceases to amaze me that the young person who says “I’m going to make friends” – does. The person who says “I will be rejected” – is. This is a frustrating way to live. You don’t need anyone’s permission to be you – be authentic and be friendly. (Prov 18:21)

2. When the going get’s tough – leave.

One thing that is hard on relationships (romantic, plutonic or corporate) –  is when we love people for their strengths, but hate them when they show their weakness. What is especially damaging about this relationally, is that we develop a pattern we take through life: when times get tough, I’m gone. Be real and recognize none of us have it all together. Don’t give up on people when things get hard – work through it. (I Cor 13)

3. Get offended easily.

The word offense is rooted in the Greek language and is pronounced “scandalon” which is where we get our English word “scandal”. A scandelon is a bait stick that trapped small animals. When you get offended and hold onto that offense, you’re trapped too. Until you let go of the offense, you’ll carry it all through life. Trust me, you need to let it go – it doesn’t make it OK, but for your sake, let it go. (Luke 17:1)