life by our default pattern, or intentionally creating a new pattern of thinking, being and doing.

It’s easy to live by default.  It is what comes most naturally to us. It takes work and commitment to create a new code. Who in our life is challenging our default code?

Posted by: Paul Dunk

Stressing fundamentals.

When I coach the little 9-10 year old bobbleheads on the football field each fall, I yell some of the same things that will be yelled this weekend during the AFC Divisional Game. Regardless of stats, salaries and endorsement contracts – there are certain things that are non-negotiable and fundamental for success at any level.

Like reminding a player to “hold onto the ball” for instance.

Not exactly new information, but based on results, it warrants revisiting from time to time whether they are a junior footballer or a Heisman candidate.

I find the same with the businesses Susan and I partner with. In the last year we have worked with both start ups and large global brands. When it comes to developing, growing and transforming your leadership to create the future – it doesn’t matter how big (or small) you are. You gotta hold onto the ball. Press on friends …

Posted by: Susan Dunk

I wonder how many pounds lost, books read, races run in 2012 will exist only in the imagination? Locked forever within a wish.

What makes a dream a reality? Resolution? It’s possible. The power of will has a achieved a lot for mankind. Vision however, is a much more compelling force than resolve could ever be.

What could be possible if this year we had a vision for who it is that we want to be and we committed ourselves wholly to that?

Clearly this will involve us doing some things, but doing is a lousy motivator and an unforgiving punisher when we fail.  Vision for who we will be compels us even in the midst of failure – because it sees each moment as a brand new opportunity for commitment.

This year, write down your vision for who you want to be and align your life with your words … and of course Press On.

Posted by: Susan Dunk

Paul just replaced the light bulb in our fridge.  It had been out for years. I came downstairs and noticed it immediately when I opened the door – it was like I had a brand new fridge.

What I  found enormously interesting was how accustomed I had become to the light being out. Every time someone was over and opened my fridge they would say, “Did you know your fridge light was out?” and I would always respond, “Oh ya, I keep forgetting – I’m just so used to it.”

I had grown so familiar with what was missing that now when I open my fridge it seems weird, actually – like something is wrong. My fridge is now functioning the way it was designed to function, yet I was more comfortable with dis-function. Scary.

I know there are times that I indulge in my negative thought patterns and behaviours because they are easier to entertain than making the shift to new patterns of thinking. Some of our negative thoughts have been with us our whole life. Having new perspective in life means letting go of what’s familiar. It’s work – it involves your whole being and a commitment to the end.

The reward is freedom. Freedom from the tyranny of the darkness of negativity and the power to invite others into that same freedom. It is so worth it.

And on another note…the light bulb also illuminated how dirty my fridge is.

Posted By Susan Dunk

This blog was spurned on by a recent tweet I read…”just because your feelings are loud doesn’t mean they are right.”

Because of the nature of my world,  ”That’ll preach” echoed in my head.

Your feelings being right really isn’t the issue if they are loud. If our feelings are loud, don’t you think they’re trying to say something to us? If we just simply ignore or suppress them,  will they eventually go away? I don’t think so.

Feelings get a bad rap. If they are inconsistent with what we think we “should”  be feeling, we stuff them down and ignore them. After all, we shouldn’t feel that way. The trouble is – we do.

Feelings though are a gift. We are made in the image of God, and we’re 3 part beings: spirit, soul, and body. To ignore our feelings is to ignore our soul – a vital part of our being.

Feelings are like the indicator’s on the dashboard of your car. If your oil light goes on would you ignore it using the same logic? “My engine shouldn’t feel that way.” No! That is ludicrous! That oil light is an indication that we need to look under the hood to find out why it’s on.

Feelings are always followers and they follow whatever we are focusing on.

Consciously or subconsciously, our feelings are following our belief system. The ONLY way to change what we feel is to shift what we are believing and be willing to stand in a new perspective.  Then our feelings will do what they are purposed to do – follow that perspective and fulfill their role of indicating.

If your feelings are loud, maybe it’s because you haven’t listened to them in a while and it’s time you addressed some issues under the hood.

Posted by Susan Dunk …

I have a confession to make. I don’t LOVE shopping.

Recently I was with a group of women and they were talking about this store and that store and I played along…like I was in the “shopping clique”. I felt like to reveal my inner non-shopper would mean total ostricism.

The thing I do LOVE about shopping is getting NEW things, because there is something intoxicating about what NEW things do for you psyche. It’s a natural high that can become addicting and unbelievably dangerous for me.

It’s dangerous because when my soul is out of peace, I long to fill it. Something NEW is the perfect soul satisfier for a very temporal moment … and then it’s gone.

Shopping is not bad. Some people relish in the whole process of shopping like one enjoys a good book.  We must be wary of seeking the fill that shopping brings , for temporal things can never satisfy the longings of a deeper eternal void.

In  a conversation with a friend she shared, “It’s other people’s comments that are really starting to get to me…they are weighing me down with their negativity.” What came out of my mouth surprised even myself.

If their words were lies you would dismiss them immediately, but their words are echos of something you already believe yourself, so they linger in the consciousness, daring to confirm what you fear to be true.

When verbal assaults come our way we are most wounded by the echos, the answer then is to silence the original voice. The power is with the observer. (see below)

echo (plural echoes or echos)

1. A reflected sound that is heard again by its initial observer.

Maybe you’ve met a celebrity or it’s someone who is wealthier, more accomplished, more acclaimed than you.  I found myself in this very context recently, and I was thinking it was quite normal … after all, they are “so in so” (notice I left out the classic name drop). Pretty normal – until I heard a still small voice. That still small voice whispered to me, “as long as you measure yourself against someone you think is better than you, you will inevitably find someone you think you’re better than.” Ouch.

And it was true, I could think of people I had put beneath me.  If we are ever going to show True Love, it must be without bias.  I’m working on wearing the spectacles of  equality. We are God’s children all made with the same inherent value bestowed upon us at creation.

Fighting this voice during the beginning of the training the next day was exhausting. I even had a headache. I noticed I was performing for their approval and it wasn’t going well. Part way through the day, I got so engaged in the training I forgot to perform and I was just being the trainer.

Afterwards, the director who organized the training told me what a beautiful job I did listening to the participants and asking questions…and boom – it happened. Something switched for me.  Because she affirmed me,  I felt ok with me.  Although I was pleased with her comments and they way they made me feel, I noticed something in that moment that was transformational…

I spent much of my life “prostituting” who I am for others approval – why?
Why have I needed the permission from others for me to be ok with me?
Who I am is brilliant and I’m learning (finally) to believe it. I may be accepted or rejected.
Who I am is not the way some people want me to be…and that’s ok, I’m not for them.

Who we are is a gift to the world and everyone loses when we wait for others permission to give it.

Traffic was awful headed into Toronto and I got a text from the head coach that we were on the field in 2 minutes … but I hadn’t even parked the car yet. When I got the text and looked in the back seat at my excited son in full football gear, my heart went into my feet.

When we pulled into the Rogers Centre, there was a parking space by an elevator – sweet. We took off so quickly I didn’t even notice it was a tow away zone.

I convinced the Rogers Centre staff to take us to field level – even though I didn’t even have my tickets yet – and all was well.

When we returned to the car and I noticed where I had parked, I was thankful we had a car to return to. It’s amazing how when we are desperately going after something we want, we see what we want to see. I wanted to see a free parking space, and so that’s what I saw. Where else in life do I completely miss “signs” because what I consider to be focused is in fact, myopic?