Today is a beautiful day, a day like today is appropriately associated with butterflies. It is for me then a great day to remind myself of the “butterfly principle.” A caterpillar IS a butterfly in potential just not in actualization.

You and I are that caterpillar. Inside of us God has placed brilliant potential and wonder. You are who you are destined to be already, the actualizaton happens when we co-operate with  God’s transformation process in our life.

Be YOU. There is only one YOU, everyone else is already taken. The world needs YOU!

I have had 3 people in the course of a few months say to me, “why didn’t you reach out to me?”  I fight the urge within to defend myself. I want to defend myself all the day long, because I feel quite justified. That’s what justification does, it reduces the dissonance the accusation may have brought and allows us to dwell again in the place of blame.

When you are confronted with feedback from others about how you are with them you always have two choices:

1) Defend and justify. (This will make us feel like we “won” and that we are right) This will guarantee that things go on as they are with that person – or better yet, they may hesitate to bring something up to us again. Perfect. I hope you like staying the same because there is no room for growth or having something new here.

2) Listen to them and be willing to look. We could wonder if maybe what they are saying may actually have some truth to it. It is not comfortable to do this. It will require humility. It will mean looking at your impact on others and be willing to own it. Only in this scenario will there be room for restoration and transformation. Here,  we can have something new.

It’s been said, “If one person calls you an ass you might pause. If two people call you an ass you might want to think about it. If three people call you an ass, you should buy a saddle.”

I’ve had to look at myself, listen to those individuals and recognize I had a part to play.

Believing our intentions are always perfect doesn’t leave any room for correcting actions that don’t line up with our “perfect” intentions.  Let’s be willing to look.

Posted by: Susan Dunk

I just went to the dentist. Every visit while I’m lying in the chair being blinded by the light above, I think back to being a kid at the dentist. I think back to him saying, “Susan, you open your mouth so wide! What a great job you do, I think you open your mouth the widest of anyone I’ve ever seen!”

To some people that may not even rank as affirmation, and it’s possible he said that to every little kid he saw. But to me, I was THEE best mouth opener around and I felt special for being so. His words lifted me and made me want to open my mouth wider. (Some of you who know me are saying … “Aahhh – that’s where that big mouth came from.”)

I cannot believe that 30 yrs later (ugh. yes 30) I still remember it and am impacted by it. So much so that my current dentist and hygienist frequently tell me I don’t need to open my mouth so wide.

People are hungry for affirmation, don’t ever hold it back.  Give it out freely and frequently – you will be opening someone’s heart wider.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Prov. 18:21

Posted by: Susan Dunk

What is worse than receiving a bill in the mail? A red light camera ticket. And I just got one.

You have the  3 options:

1) plead not guilty and fight it in court

2) plead guilty and request the fine be reduced

3) pay the fine.

I momentarily considered pleading not guilty. I am a fighter and when I was little one of my dreams was to be a lawyer, so I think I ‘d have fun arguing in court. The thing about pleading not guilty though, is that the evidence is against me. I cannot argue that I didn’t go through a red light, a camera has a picture of me going through a red light!

I do have a story though. The car in front of me was in the middle of the intersection turning left (from a one way st.) and hit the brakes in the MIDDLE of the intersection because a truck was stopped in his lane. Seeing this I checked my blind spot and switched lanes and when I turned around I was driving through a red light. I saved myself from plowing through that little car, but as a result I drove through a red light. (the 1.8 seconds they have it recorded as being red is the time it took for me to check my blindspot and change lanes)

I could argue those good intentions all the day but the red light camera doesn’t care- it looks only at the evidence.

I wonder where else in my life I refuse to look at the evidence? Where I argue my intentions (which are always pure to me) and yet do not look at what the physical world is demanding I consider. ( our unhealthy lifestyle, our marriage, our children, our finances, our relationships?)

The thing about they physical world is that it doesn’t lie. It does not because it cannot.

We often lie to ourselves about what we have a part in creating. We tell ourselves all kinds of stories.
We are not able to have anything new unless we consider the evidence.

Proverbs 21:2 “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, But the Lord weighs the heart.”

Posted by: Susan Dunk

This post is inspired by International Woman’s Day.  Today in North America we recognize and celebrate woman: her achievements, her accolades, and among a host of other things including the fact that she can be on an Olympic team. However,  for a large majority of women across the globe today is just another day…

Another day that women in the Democratic Republic of Congo will be systematically raped as part of a war strategy to tear apart the family.

Another day that genital mutilation will be practiced on girls in 25 countries in central Africa.

Another day a muslim girl will be killed by her own family as a result of “honour killings”

Another day that Arab states will deny girls an education.

Another day that girls in South Asia, Central America, Europe and North America will be sold to sex traders and then forced to have sex with over a dozen men today alone.

Another day that we will celebrate artists who devalue women everywhere by reducing themselves to sex objects.

If this madness bothers you, let this not be just another day, make this your day to do something about it.

Posted by: Susan Dunk

Last week I was driving into Toronto at the most unwise time of the day: morning rush hour. Even though I left myself an extra HOUR to get there, once I got onto the 401 stretch it looked sketchy if I would make it to my destination on time.

Jarvis (that’s the name of our GPS) agreed with me and so he directed me off the 401. I always wanted to know if there was a “back way” to T.O and turns out there is.

When I got off the exit that Jarvis suggested, it was a risk. I didn’t know this way AT ALL. I didn’t even know there was farm land this East of the 401. Part of me wanted to take the chance I’d make it through the traffic and freezing rain on the highway I knew and was comfortable with, but I yielded to Jarvis and his inherent Global Positioning System.

I had to trust that he could see things from his vantage point that I couldn’t see. Even though this journey out to nowhereland didn’t make sense to me, it did to him, because he could see the whole picture and knew this trek was necessary for me to reach my destination.

I can’t fool anyone here…you know where I’m going with this one.

Sometimes the path we are on doesn’t make sense. Sometimes we have to take a detour, a country road that is unfamiliar, or worse – we have to stay still. It’s in these moments that we get to choose whom we will trust: our limited vantage point, or God’s Positioning System.

I don’t own a scale. I don’t because like an alcoholic, I can’t handle having it in the house.  I would become obsessed with the number on the scale. The number means a lot to me.

There are people in the field of health and nutrition who say “the number on the scale doesn’t matter”.   I understand they are trying to challenge a paradigm that the number doesn’t paint an accurate picture of someone’s health. For example,  the number on the scale could read 125 and said woman could have serious health risks. However, to say the number doesn’t matter would be to ignore part of the current reality. I see two potential ditches for crowds to fall into: one for the “number is everything” crowd and one for the “number means nothing”crowd.

Both of those views contribute to part of the current reality and therefore neither can be ignored. If your envisioned future is for a fit, healthy, disease free body – both of those views matter and must be examined.

The same is true for our envisioned future in every context of life whether it be our career, our relationships or our finances.

In order to acheive our envisioned future, we must first accurately assess our current reality. This means stepping on the scale both literally and metophorically – the scale representing that which we can see about our situation. It also means assessing part of the current reality we cannot see – a health assessment, so to speak.

This involves inviting others into the conversation. If you are committed to your envisioned future, how willing are you to hear the feedback that others can offer on what they see as part of your current reality? Check in time.

Posted by: Paul Dunk

People are people – not tools to accomplish a vision, or a means to get what we want.

A while back, Susan and I were at a family gathering and were being introduced to her sisters boyfriend. We were going around the room introducing ourselves, and at some point someone used a classic cleche’ often reserved for moments like that one …

“Don’t worry, we won’t test you later on all our names.”

After we finished, he went around the room and got every name right – not only the family, but the visiting friends as well. We were amazed.  When we asked him how he did it, he said, “It’s a little trick I use.” Curious about this amazing trick, I wanted to know the secret because I have always been bad with names. I asked him how it worked.

“It’s called caring.”

life by our default pattern, or intentionally creating a new pattern of thinking, being and doing.

It’s easy to live by default.  It is what comes most naturally to us. It takes work and commitment to create a new code. Who in our life is challenging our default code?

Posted by: Paul Dunk

Stressing fundamentals.

When I coach the little 9-10 year old bobbleheads on the football field each fall, I yell some of the same things that will be yelled this weekend during the AFC Divisional Game. Regardless of stats, salaries and endorsement contracts – there are certain things that are non-negotiable and fundamental for success at any level.

Like reminding a player to “hold onto the ball” for instance.

Not exactly new information, but based on results, it warrants revisiting from time to time whether they are a junior footballer or a Heisman candidate.

I find the same with the businesses Susan and I partner with. In the last year we have worked with both start ups and large global brands. When it comes to developing, growing and transforming your leadership to create the future – it doesn’t matter how big (or small) you are. You gotta hold onto the ball. Press on friends …